For a long time I’ve liked to pick up the Weekly World News a couple of times a year. Its general loopiness made it the absolute funniest reading in the country. But the July 18th issue really disappointed me. Even though the article subjects were as bizarre as ever - “Moon to Explode in 6 Months”, “Most Depressing Book Ever Written Driving Readers to Suicide” – the contents contained such juvenile wordplay that the hilarity was lost. Consider the article about the “Bubble-Dog”. It turned out the dog had some disease with the acronym “ARF”. And the scientist who is bringing back saber-toothed tigers (for use in guard duty) is named “Harry Wiscars”. WWN’s kind of humor is funny only if the people, situations, and places are plausible. Using juvenile names that scream “get the joke?” just ruins the effect. I’m so mad I’m going to have to write Ed Anger about it.
Worse than that is the now-rampant and obvious pandering to (assumably) Southern right-wing wackos. What about Bat-Boy and the fattest baby ever, etc? The "Page 5 Girl"... man, my willie used to get a workout from that! (ah crap, did I just write that?)... I don't even know if they do that anymore.
Oh, is that rag still going? Class! Not seen it in ages, but I used to pick it up years ago when it first made its way over here, a much needed weekly dose of bull since the Sport went completely over to sex. Sad to hear it's slipping though.
HAITI SELLING OFF ZOMBIES (link) Undead work harder than the living, obey your every command, don't eat much - & MAKE GREAT NANNIES! SEVEN CONGRESSMEN ARE ZOMBIES! (link) Nobody can figure out who they are because the living dead -- with their shuffling gait, wrinkled skin and glassy stares -- are indistinguishable from all the senior-citizen politicians on Capitol Hill. Pure genius.
Russ had it right, Ed Clontz (the genius behind Batboy and the real guy behind Ed Anger) died a year and a half ago. RIP Eddie I still have his priceless collection of editorials, titled "Pave the Stupid Rainforests and Give All the Teachers Stun Guns" The paper is now becoming too much of a satire. However, I still get it for plane flights, it makes the trip much shorter. A little while ago, I read a story that said that a Hooters girl had an image of the Virgin mother in sweat in her T-shirt, and a vatican official couldn't wait to get his hands on the investigation. And the website is always worth a visit. There is a classic story about how Saddam and Osama adopted a shaved chimp as their baby. "Terrorist hearts are aflutter...."