Evangelicals: Jesus will literally float back down to earth from the sky And these people voted for... I mean hey, if Ian can start a PETA thread, why can't we have a rapture thread?
Re: Evangelicals: Jesus will literally float back down to earth from the sky Can we kill this thread and hope it isn't ressurected?
Re: Evangelicals: Jesus will literally float back down to earth from the sky Actually, those are Mormons, not evangelicals. I think. I didn't spend a whole lot of time on their website.
Re: Evangelicals: Jesus will literally float back down to earth from the sky Do Mormons drive nice cars? Because you know, all these "Christians" waiting for the rapture seem to drive Chevy Citations and '87 Ford Ranger pickups. I'm looking for a nice Ferrari.
Re: Evangelicals: Jesus will literally float back down to earth from the sky It'll be resurrected by Ian in 72 hours.
Re: Evangelicals: Jesus will literally float back down to earth from the sky My guess, however, is that if there is any validity to rapture theology, he'll be brought up, pimp-slapped a few times, then sent back down to apologize and set the record straight. For it is written, "I correct and punish everyone I love" (Revelation 3:19). So, in short, if you want to get one of his rides, you'll have to work fast.
Re: Evangelicals: Jesus will literally float back down to earth from the sky True. Instead of Bible thumping, they Book of Mormom thump. The mechanics aren't quite the same, but it's just as annoying.
Re: Evangelicals: Jesus will literally float back down to earth from the sky What is becoming clear is this=> The Evangelists and Conservatives Pray To Jesus! The Atheists and Liberals Pray To Satan! Dear God Help Us! IntheNet
Re: Evangelicals: Jesus will literally float back down to earth from the sky I y'am what I y'am and that's all that I y'am--Popeye:1938
Re: Evangelicals: Jesus will literally float back down to earth from the sky Atheists pray? I must have missed something...
Re: Evangelicals: Jesus will literally float back down to earth from the sky there are no athiests in foxholes...
Re: Evangelicals: Jesus will literally float back down to earth from the sky That's why he's our favorite troll.
Re: Evangelicals: Jesus will literally float back down to earth from the sky Joke #974 that went over your head. Addendumb: since when do athiests pray?
Re: Evangelicals: Jesus will literally float back down to earth from the sky This cliche is way past its sell-by date.
Re: Evangelicals: Jesus will literally float back down to earth from the sky I used to work in the airlines with a guy. Well I didn't work with him, he came on the planes after the passengers left to clean it up. He used to carry a camera everywhere, in a bag with a shoulder strap and a belt so it wouldn't be in his way. I asked him one day "Why?" It was just in case one day, he said. Jesus would come back to earth (On a 727) he could take his photo and perhaps have someone take one of him and Jesus together. (I could imagine Jesus doing the rabbit ears thingy with him) He was a totally nice guy and good at his job so it couldn't have been Ian. But each to his own, he was happy. As an aside. I caught him one day with a piece of tube about 3/4 in dia. He'd sharpened one end and had pressed it into his bald head (Yes, he did) many times and into these bloody perfect 3/4 inch circles he was taping hair from different parts of his body with Scotch tape. He went away soon after this, nobody seemed to know where. Perhaps to start his own clinic.
Re: Evangelicals: Jesus will literally float back down to earth from the sky So, what is so strange about Jesus floating back to earth? According to the Bible (i think it is in the book of Acts) Jesus floated up to the heavens. I am not an expert in air flotation, but I suspect it is easier for a floater to float down than to float up. So, if it was written for the record that he was able to float up...
Re: Evangelicals: Jesus will literally float back down to earth from the sky That's the essential difference between believers and non-believers, I suppose. Remember, only 11 people are reported to have watched the Ascension, and none of them wrote about it. The only Gospel that may have been written by an eyewitness (John) has no account of it.
Re: Evangelicals: Jesus will literally float back down to earth from the sky OH GOODIE!!!!! A thread begun so that people can make fun of other people's religious beliefs!!!!! I guess this will show how "open minded" and "nuanced" and "sensitive to others" they are. You people are really so far beyond the pale that it boggles the imagination. And you have the gall to call other people "bigots"????
Re: Evangelicals: Jesus will literally float back down to earth from the sky I've always wondered why it was socially acceptable to make fun of people gathered together to await the return of the alien mothership to take them back to planet Zeblon, but it was not acceptable to make fun of people gathered together to await the second coming of the son of god to lift them up into heaven. Help me out here.
Re: Evangelicals: Jesus will literally float back down to earth from the sky And yes, these are Mormons, not Evangelicals. Not that any of these mopes know the difference. I just wonder how long it would take the mods to close a thread that mocked the Shia Muslims for believeing that the Twelfth Imam, who lived in the 8th Century, is not dead but rather in hiding someplace. Five seconds? Ten? Religious bigotry is religious bigotry, except to you guys who feel that all religions are due respect except Christianity. And the Moderators are largely to blame This Forum is a disgrace, and I'm sorry I came back. And I'm gone. Bye.
Muslims: Thousand Year Old Man Will Come Out Of Hiding Soon What a bunch of pinheads Muslims are: believeing that the Twelver Imam is actually just hiding someplace and will return. What a joke THAT religion is. Hey, I have an idea: let's start the "Mindless religious Bigotry Forum"
Sunni Muslims Believe Mohammed Rode a Horse to Heaven!!!!!! Honest!!! They think he got on a WHite Stallion at the Temple Mount in Jerusalem and rode that baby all the way up to heaven to be with Allah!!! What a bunch of retards those Sunnis are.
Let's All Laugh at Bhuddists!! Hey, come on - these guys worship images of a fat guy. OK, so he's jolly and all, but cripes: could they at least wear normal clothes? Those Bhuddists sure are peculiar - let's hate them.
Re: Muslims: Thousand Year Old Man Will Come Out Of Hiding Soon Actually he is about twelve hundred years old. But it is really not that strange when you consider that the Imam number twelve never smoke or drank, exercised regularly and kept a strict low-fat diet.